14 May 2008

Anger Management

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."~Buddha
One of the most intense emotions a human can feel is anger. It's like a boiling lava in a volcano waiting to explode. It varies from being a mild irritation to a fury. It also affects us psychologically and physiologically through palpitations, profuse sweating, our heartbeat and blood pressure shoot up and we are overwhelmed with great energy and hormones. I personally dread the feeling of anger seeping in my system because I am scared that I may just lose it and throw away a big, violent fit. You see, when we are angry, our judgment is impaired and we have clouded perspective on some matters; thus making us vulnerable to make matters worse and eventually, may even cause hurt to ourselves and our family and friends.
We all can cope effectively when we feel angry and here are some ways to cope:
1. Do some relaxation techniques like breathing in and out, yoga, meditation and focused visualisation.
2. Try to remove yourself from the physical environment if "mentally"removing yourself is not achievable. Go for a walk for a while. Go to the other room or run up and down the stairs. I always go to the loo and heave in and out to release the pent up emotion. It has worked for me every time I feel angry or upset.
3. Acknowledge the feeling. I know I am only human and I am capable to feel such intense emotion but to acknowledge the feeling is also a part of giving oneself a chance to grow and realize it's destructive nature. Knowing all these, I am prepared to tackle the emotion fair and square. I know this will pose a big challenge because when we are angry, we don't listen to reason. However, knowing that you are angry can put you in a different perspective. This way, you can curtail the various untoward reaction of being angry like being verbally abusive, and sometimes can cross the line to physical manifestations.
4. Pray. Praying has helped me control my anger many times in my life. I ask for divine guidance when I am lost at moments of anger. I humble myself before Him and ask for understanding, patience and peace.

"Lord Jesus, there is anger in my heart and I cannot root it out.
I know that I should calm down and offer the hurt and disappointment to You
but my emotion is running away with me.
Help me to overcome this weakness and give me peace of heart as well as mind.
Let me learn from this experience and grow into a better human being . Amen. "


  1. Hi there!

    I just did my regular visit to your great blog. I like this post, anger management. It's a bit ironical for me to like this one since I have a problem with getting angry at the right time.

    I hope there will be a Part II- how to be angry and knowing when you it's right to get angry. =D

    Keep up the great blogging my friend!

    -Liane of Better Blogging for Bloggers


  2. Hi Liane!

    It's so nice to hear from you. Yup, I may take you on that suggestion for a part 2...hehehehe. So how are things with your e-book? I finished the older version and will check the updated ones after all this hullabaloos are over (my daughter's final exams, crazy things at work..). I liked the content of you e-book and I am glad you didn't mind my suggestions on the layout.

    Have a nice day pal!

  3. What I believe is this. Anger, fury, rage and the like is a normal human reaction ... This is undeniable.

    The problem sometimes is the recipient does not recognize it, failing to give space and tolerance to the angry person.

    One irony of our contemporary society today is we have to control and suppress our anger, by showing that we can still smile even though we don't feel smiling.

    That is how manners and etiquette comes in. I think we should practice to ourselves that we should always take everything lightly, be happy, and bear in mind that anger is not good for the heart.

    Perhaps it is much better that we are the recipient of anger because we could give them all the understanding they need, than being the angry one.

    What do you think?

  4. Hi Aor,

    Know what, my mom always tell us that: To give understanding to those who are angry. Never knew why but she does have a point. I don't like to risk myself feeling the ill effects of anger although it's also natural to release it as maturely as one can. I try my best to not get so mad because I just loathe the feeling. It's simply not good for the health and well-being....and wrinkles!!! hahaha


Thank you for your comment.