18 June 2008

The Corporate Lingo

Well, having slaved myself for many years in the corporate world, I guess I can truly vouch for these statements...

"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"


"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"


"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"


"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"


"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"

4 comments :

  1. Been there, done that!! hahaha... ;)
    When you are in a company for a long time, you surely can relate to Ria's corporate lingo!

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  2. haha! can definitely relate to it..

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  3. what a deep truth this line have. They are an excellent mirror of office life. The list hangs on my wall in my office cubicle ;-)

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  4. Hi FG! Long time no hear! Well, if I have the choice as well, I'll even mount this and place it on my office cubicle...but I still need my job though...hahahaha =)

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