18 July 2011

Living with Inconsiderate People

It is really difficult to enjoy a peaceful and stress-free life when you are surrounded by inconsiderate people 24/7. All I ever wish is go to work without any hassle and come home to a place where I can relax and enjoy the time away from work. However, these little "perks" I thought I will enjoy at home is ruined by others who are simply disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Inconsiderate people are those who make your smooth ride in life bumpy and chaotic.  They are those rocks along the street of life that you just want to kick on the side of the dirt road. If only you can do that in real life.

These are people who will really test your patience. They are the inconsiderate ones who are either rude in nature, simply ignorant and selfish, disrespectful and plain insensitive to others' right to a quiet, peaceful and private life. You meet them everywhere and if you're lucky, you may even live with one. 

I am fairly a patient and considerate person who will try to adjust and hold on my anger if I can. But sometimes, the calm waters are tested and your patience teetering to a snap. What do you do then?

There are ways to live your way around them if you have no choice like I do. Here are some tips I have employed to be able to go through life knowing that no matter what diplomacy and tactic I do to convey the message across, I will really still have to make an effort to work and live my way and life around them.

1. Ignore them.
This seems to be an easy thing to do but it's rather difficult especially if the person or people you find inconsiderate is or are actually living in the same place as you are. If you cannot afford to live solo then you might as well face the fact and try to live harmoniously with the person involved.

My principle in life is, anything that or anyone who causes me stress are simply wiped off my list of people I have to deal with. I just ignore them completely. It is the fair thing to do for yourself. Never mind them. 

2. Express your concerns to the person involved in a very diplomatic way.
I did this many times and the same inconsiderate person just keeps doing it over and over again. One reminder is fine, twice is okay but three times or more? It clearly shows the person involved is really mindless and does not care about you, let alone respect you. So practice rule # 1 now - ignore.

3. Put reminders everywhere to give consideration and respect to everyone.
It's like treating a small kid. You have to constantly remind them that they have an indirect obligation to other people too. If they are not dense and have a thin skull then they will get the message across. But if you're unlucky as I am, then go back to rule # 1 - ignore.

4. This is only for the brazen (like myself!). Confront with the intent to instill fear to the inconsiderate person. And be ready to face the consequences afterwards.
Since I have been dealing with the same riffraff at home for many years now, I have already lost track of the number of times I begged, pleaded, requested and reminded the inconsiderate person to practice respect and give consideration to others (And come to think of it, I am older than the person in question and respect is not given to me. Now you can imagine what type of person I am dealing with). None happened so I had to go to the mattress and fight the war. Yes, it will be an ugly scene at home and brace yourself because this act can actually ruin and sever the ties you have with the person involved. In my case, I could care less now. I can never associate myself with people who make my life a living hell. I deserve a peaceful day at home and if I have to fight for it, I will. Come on, I am the matriarch of the house and to be treated like this only shows that the person is truly hardcore inconsiderate and disrespectful person. Changing that person is like asking for snow in the Sahara.


2 comments :

  1. I must say I commiserate with you Ria. We all undergo such stressful situations in life and if we don't remedy them, they can make our lives a living hell. In my case, I always go back to the word of God for counseling and inspiration. I have been through all kinds of life threatening situations in life and I have pass the shadow of death so many times and in all those times, the word of God has literally saved me. Read Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose." That means everything that happens to us is declared good by God and in His own time, He will reveal His divine purpose as it unfolds. I have learned a long time ago that we are presently at the perfect place where God intended us to be. And God is polishing us like unrefined gold until our sheen glitters as a gold should. So if we see stumbling blocks on the way, God wants us to go over them, to overcome them and after that we will learn a valuable lesson in life like love, patience, tolerance and self control. People normally live for themselves and will not unduly piss off another person. If the person does, he's probably doing it unaware of the his actions. The remedy for this is as you say, ignore the person but do not treat him/her with contempt. Focus on positive thoughts to counteract any approaching negative thoughts or feelings. We don't want to be scalded in our own stew. Hebrews 12:2a says, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith." If we do everything for the glory of God then nothing can disturb our inner peace and joy in the Lord. Thanks for the post. God bless you all always.

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  2. Thanks for your wonderful comments and insights Kuya Mel. I just feel so disrespected after doing everything I can to convey the message and to think that I am older than the person in question. I am actually leaving everything to God now. I have said my piece, have done my part and I am turning the other way now.

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