09 March 2013
Fat Belly and Me
I have been desperately trying to lose weight especially in my mid-section. I look like I am pregnant who is about to deliver any time soon. I have been asked several times about my "due" date. Initially, I was confused and not sure on how to respond but later on, I just went with the flow. Deep inside, I am hurt and really offended. So, the reality is, I am fat and I just can't lose weight the way I used to before.
I tried most diet pills, diet fads and exercise regime known to men and I would always fail. My friends who are bigger than me are now smaller. I used to be the petite one and now it is the opposite of that. I hate having my picture taken nor being in parties because my friends whom I have not seen for long are surprised to see a rounder version of me. Each time I have to explain why I can't lose weight, why I am this and that, etc. I am just tired of the cycle. Until one fine day, I just don't feel like going out, meeting people nor seeing myself in the mirror.
I used to "not" bother about my appearance because back then, I was the envy of my colleagues. I had a flat abdomen, toned arms and a proportionate body for my height. I noticed that as soon as I turned 35, my body seem to caught up with my age and so did my girth! Now that I am turning 41 in a couple of days, I can't even bear myself to measure my waistline. I shudder at the thought of seeing 41 inches on the measuring tape.
This getting fat thing has to stop soon or I will keep expanding until I float in the air like a big, hot air balloon! I'm just tired of getting teased, asked why I am fat, cornered by my family to lose weight, etc., etc. Of course I am trying my best to lose weight. The weight just won't come off. I'm not sure why. I already saw several doctors and each time, they would say the same thing - exercise and portion control. My thyroid is normal too. My blood sugar level, aside from the hypertension and bad cholesterol, is also normal.
I did all that. I cut back on so many things. I am regularly exercising now for an hour but I am still not seeing the numbers go down. My clothes are still tight but I don't feel tired easily these days. Could it be that my stamina is building up? Am I building muscles? I hope so.
I want to give myself that gift, that slim and healthy body that I used to have. I am conditioning myself to do that because it will be the greatest gift I can possibly give myself - a healthy me. Wish me luck as I venture to the "no pain, no gain" zone. There's no easy way to lose weight and get rid of that belly fat for good but to eat healthy and exercise regularly. I know it's not easy but I'm doing it anyway. It's now or never.