The number says it - FORTY ONE! 41! Cuarenta y uno! Quarante et un! Apatnapu't isa! Yonjuuichi! No matter how and what ever language I translate 41, it still remains as that - a big, fat 41.
I know. I keep telling everyone that age is just a number. It remains a figure in my journey in this phase of life. I am very thankful though that I will be celebrating my 41st birthday with my family and that means so much to me. What bothers me now is how my body is adapting to the years of my existence. I just posted something about my expanding girth and it happens each time I celebrate my birthday. I am seriously freaking out to see my waistline loyally following my age. There can't be any paranormal connection to that. I hope!
Well, expanding waistline is not my only concern these days. The physical manifestations of turning 41 is becoming evident too. Let's skip the girth now. Let's focus on the upper portion of my body. Well, my arms are still droopy but not as droopy as before. Thanks to the arm exercises I do. My chest is still okay, thank goodness for that. My face is plump like an inflated balloon. But I have to give it to my face though. I still don't have wrinkles considering my age. Kudos to that! But I am not spared from the age spots as they start to congregate in one area of my cheek. My crowning glory is another story. It is turning into silver! I used to have dark brown hair. Now, 1/4 of my natural hair has decided to go on mutiny. And about 1/8th of that decided to go MIA! LOL!!!
Now, for the other half of my body. My buttocks are firm but slightly lower than they used to. They used to be perky and "up there" but now, gravity has convinced by derriere to follow suit. Traitors! And as an evidence to that claim, my perfectly form-fitting jeans which happily nestles on my well-formed behind is slightly loose and slung lower than usual. Hmmm. I hope it's because my fat bum just got more toned. Otherwise, I don't even want to know how my behind will look like 10 years from now. They're probably kissing the floor!
Oh, the legs! Don't even get me started with them. I used to have lovely gams that wearing micro minis and shorts were never an issue. Well, those were the days and the present calls for more trousers and longer skirts. They're like logs! But like my face, I have to give a round of applause to my legs because they are toned and not flabby. If I could only lose more inches from them. Sigh.
Let's go to the last part I want to pick on - my feet. I thought my feet will not expand width and length-wise. I was wrong! I used to wear a size 6 shoes. Now it's 7 and I am not too happy about it. I am 5 foot flat and I look like a clown wearing big shoes. Now that's a sight I am not very comfortable with. Nothing against clowns but they do wear big shoes for the show but for me, I have to wear it to work and I look like a penguin.
I told myself I want to grow old gracefully not awkwardly. I feel like a pubescent girl, uncertain of how she has to adapt whilst aware of where she will eventually be in the cycle of life. I am not sure if my mind is really ready for the changes that will happen to me as I push 41 and onwards. I'm sure I will get used to all these. I just need to internalize the changes and accept them as part of "growing up."
And I thought I grew up already? So, what do I feel now that I am turning 41? I feel so many things. I feel grateful, happy but confused, still adapting to all that is happening and wondering how my life will be years from now.
I pray I will be given more time in the world to discover the person that I will be as I go along in this journey in life. And while I am travelling in that road, I'll take with me the many lessons and wisdom I will pick up along the way. That includes the imperfections my physical being will undertake as I show the world what being 41 does to a woman like me.