March 26, 2008

The Amalgamation Of Lies And Truth

Human race has a nature of conjuring stories. The idle mind builds up thoughts and sends false signals to our subconscious making us believe stuff, accepting hearsay and actually engaging on lies. Everybody lies! Even 5 year old kids make up stories. All of us tell lies.
I have heard many, many lies in my whole life that when one person actually tells the truth; I cannot make out whether it is a lie or a fact. My immune system on hearing lies has already gone overdrive that my brain seems to refuse accepting the reality that other people do tell the truth, that there are actually honest people living in this world, in this present time.
I have psyched myself on the adage that “truth hurts.” I often avoid situations when I am suspicious of something and I have to find the truth. I seldom keep my questions cooking in my head for fear of getting hurt or being vulnerable to whatever I will find out. Oftentimes, this fear of knowing the truth behind my many questions has left me wondering endlessly, seeking for answers I do not want to hear, keeping to myself, shutting my door to the world of truth. This fear has eaten me up that I feel like being a hermit. I do not want to be in the open because I do not want to see the truth right before my eyes. However, my life cannot be restrained because of this fear of getting hurt, of being betrayed, of being left, of being lied to, of many things my not-so-strong-heart can ever fathom and accept. I have to face the world of both lies and truth because the two are synergy of what life is all about. It is up to me how I must accept the truth and lies surrounding my existence. One way or the other, all the people I know will actually lie, be lied to, tell the truth and get hurt. Whatever the case may be, life will surely move on in the midst of this amalgamation.
I surmise, the best way to deal with this is just to accept the fact that no matter how I make an honest person out of someone, that person has the right to be honest or not. My head will continue to filter every single thing I hear and will be cautious in revealing how I feel about it. Bad or not, this is the plain truth – that life will be a vicious cycle of both lies and honesty. Turning a blind eye will not help in solving matters; accepting will. And in parting, let me just tell you this – “truth does hurt and it hurts badly.”

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